Patron Pick – Men in Black II

This special reward is available to Patreon patrons who pledge at the $10 or $20 monthly levels. Each month, those patrons will pick a film for me to review. If they choose, they also get to include some of their thoughts about the movie. This Pick comes from Bekah Lindstrom.

Men in Black II (2002)
Written by Robert Gordon and Barry Fanaro
Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld

Around this time, I began to viscerally feel that the popular fare I would see in theaters mainly was trash. I was in college when Men in Black II came out, and I remember going to the theater to see it. I spent August at a friend’s house, and one of their local friends had connections at the local theater. This meant we would get to enter without having to buy tickets. Men in Black II was one of those films. I couldn’t have been happier not to pay to see this thing. When this was requested as a Patron pick, I wondered if I would change my view. Maybe there was something good about it I missed back then. There wasn’t.

It’s been five years since Agent J (Will Smith) joined the MIB. Since then, he’s gotten into a habit of neuralyzing his partners as they aren’t a good fit with him. An alien is murdered at a pizzeria, and he meets Laura (Rosario Dawson), a new employee in the restaurant who witnessed it all. The alien Serleena (Lara Flynn Boyle) poses as a Victoria’s Secret model as she tears through New York City, searching for something called the Light of Zartha. It turns out that Lurleena’s last trip to Earth had been a formative time for Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones), K’s old partner who neuralyzed himself at the end of the first film. Can you guess what happens next?

I have never enjoyed anything about the Men in Black franchise. It’s odd because I thought Barry Sonnenfeld’s directing of The Addams Family movies are great and stand the test of time. I think he’s a great cinematographer, and I enjoyed his work with the Coens and Danny DeVito. But when I saw the first Men in Black movie, I felt absolutely nothing. I wasn’t excited about it, and I didn’t find any of the set pieces memorable. It felt like another vehicle for Will Smith in the form of a summer blockbuster. I don’t think I was wrong with this take, as Sonnenfeld’s Wild Wild West showed that he had become far more interested in the spectacle than ever, presenting us with a character that felt something approaching human.

Everything about MIB II seems to be recreating scenarios from the first movie and hoping the audience gives a shit about something that wasn’t that memorable in the first place. This means you won’t be surprised by anything that happens. In fact, K is put in J’s place from the first movie as he’s had his memories of the MIB erased. So, the film can conveniently re-explain its concept using the same sight gags while pretending it’s another installment. Our antagonist is even an alien pretending to be a human, which, while established as how aliens hideout on Earth, still feels like a retread. They are even looking for a MacGuffin hiding somewhere on Earth, just like in the first film.

All of the comedy comes from slapstick using digital effects. These same digital effects weren’t impressive then and certainly aren’t today. Agent J gets thrown around by a giant alien worm thing and makes a quip afterward. Agent J is covered in slime by an alien and makes a quip. The film begins with an exposition dump, re-explained later because J wasn’t privy to those events decades earlier. It might have improved the movie if Lurleena’s arrival on Earth had been a big mystery instead of having it explained to us in the opening five minutes. The audience would wonder what she was after, and J could have had Agen Zed (Rip Torn) reveal her connection to MIB and make K’s return even somewhat of a surprising moment.

An alien comes to Earth, disguises themselves as a human, and kills another alien in search of a MacGuffin. An MIB agent realizes he needs a partner and seeks out someone living a mundane life doing a service job. The new guy is in awe as they witness the secret wonder of the MIB program. J falls in love with a female witness to the murder. There’s a ticking clock element as the villain approaches the MacGuffin. Literally identical to the first movie. There are some impressive make-up effects courtesy of Rick Baker for some of the aliens, but that is not enough to make this movie worth re-watching. I guess these movies make money because I can’t think of any other reason why Universal kept making them for so long. Thank god, they stopped…for now.